THE MAGIC & SCIENCE

Ooops I did it again...

“You ever show somebody how to do something new, then in 2 weeks, they've either fogotten or are just back to doing what they always did?”

A challenge you will have as a leader is taking on people with pre-existing conditioning. You will have no idea what it was or where it came from! You will only see their behaviour. It’s like the tip of the iceberg. 

You remember that movie where the boat hits an iceberg? Well, it wasn’t the part they could see above the surface that ripped a gaping hole in the side of the boat. It’s what is below the surface that will sink your ship...just saying.

Leaders often attack behaviour in most performance management situations. What needs to be understood is the thought pattern that drives the behaviour we see. Too often we challenge behaviour without seeking the underlying attitude, or habit of thought. As a leader, that is what should be of interest! What was the thought pattern (habit of thinking) that drove the behaviour?

You must dig deep to understand what they are thinking (How I think determines how I act). Not in a “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING (insert *facepalm*)!!???” kind of way. I assure you it will be enlightening. It will allow you to find the triggers and levers to pull. It will allow you to help someone achieve more results and great success in their life and your business.

Think about this. What if you knew what behaviour you want to see to achieve the results you are after? What if you knew what level of thinking would drive that behaviour? Then what level of thinking is driving the current behaviour you are seeing? Now you have where they are and where you need them to be! You know where the gap in thinking is (No it’s not the 6 inches between their ears…well not how you were thinking of it at least!). Now it’s time to put on the coach’s hat and help them shift their thinking! 

It will take the same process to condition the new way of thinking. With spaced repetition over time, it will happen and be worth it.

Let’s look at the process of how we became who we are. Then let’s look at how to use it to become who we want to be tomorrow. Your role as a leader plays a big part in this, but we will get to that shortly.

HOW DID WE BECOME WHO WE ARE?

We have become who we are today through a simple process. This process works both by default and circumstance and by design. Yet the clear majority of us have built our lives by default and circumstance rather than by design. 

We have been programmed to believe things. We have bought into other people’s rules (OPR’s). You know the stories we are told growing up about who we are based on how those around us want us to be. They usually come from those closest to us, the ones whose opinions we value the most. The ones who have our best at heart, all with great intentions in what is best for us, based on their perception of what is best. Then we enter the workforce.

In the workplace, it could be your first Boss. Ever had a “Boss” penalise you for taking a risk or making a mistake? It sure makes you think twice before taking a risk next time. Somewhere, over time, many employees start to believe the following thought patterns: Stay safe. Don’t break the rules. Do as you are told. You are paid to work not to think…and many more. The only thing worse than having a “Boss” like that is if you have been the “Boss” who did that!

Working with “new to the workforce” employees I remind myself that I am about to shape their foundational thoughts on what being an employee, a member of a team or a valued contributor looks and feels like. I set the tone for their future. I am responsible. I must lead by an example that engages, empowers and inspires them.

HERE IS THE PROCESS FOR HUMAN BEHAVIOUR

SUCCESS: Each of us as an individual has our own definition of success. This is the journey, not the destination. It is about who you want to become in life. Ultimately it is who do we want to BE?

RESULTS: What have I accomplished? We grow to become who we are through setting and achieving goals. Simply put, what do I want to HAVE?

BEHAVIOURS: Nothing is achieved without action. What actions do we take and demonstrate? To get the results we have in life, how do I need to BEHAVE?

ATTITUDE: Under the surface of human behaviour, is our attitudes. Attitudes are our habits of thinking. What we know from centuries of studies is that how we think determines how we act. Our attitude then determines our behaviour. 

CONDITIONING: How do we develop our attitudes? They have been conditioned in to us. Conditioning is a process of becoming by reward or punishment each time an action is performed until we associate the action with a desired pleasure or distress.

SPACED REPETITION: Conditioning happens through a process of spaced repetition. We hear the same message over and over in intervals. Every time slowly imprinting into our minds.

INPUTS: These are the beliefs and thoughts from people we value. The things our parents, teachers and leaders (authority figures) told us to believe. Then add to that the bombardment and stimulation of what media and society want us to believe. 

Dave Clare, CEO & Founder - Circle Leadership

WEEKLY CLARISM

Please see above...you get the point.